You guys, I just do not have patience for bad music tonight, so these kids better do well. Let's go!
Usher (who has a new album out this week; coincidence?) is mentoring for R&B/Soul week. Usher is kind of boring -- not as a musician, as a person.
Siobhan is our first performer this week and she is nervous to meet and sing for Usher.
I have to watch all three hours of this show on Wednesdays now because I have a class on Tuesday nights. I have thus far remained unspoiled as to the results. No Twitter, Facebook, iGoogle, or email once 5 PM hits on Wednesday.
The Top 12 brought us songs from The Rolling Stones on Tuesday night, and here's how things went, followed by a rundown of Wednesday's results...
I have to go present tense here, because I always recap as I watch it, even though a lot of this happened in the distant past of yesterday.
So who's eliminated, on this, the last chance before the big stage?
1. Katelyn. Which is just great, because now I have to spend the rest of this season with these talentless hacks and not one of them is remotely relatable to me. Whatever. She was better than this the whole time.
2. Todrick, which is a shame because he is so gorgeous and interesting.
Ryan seems particularly punchy tonight, so let's get on with it, shall we?
Lee is first tonight, with like, I don't know, Nickelback's take on Owl City? So, "Fireflies," which I don't like on its own because it is boring and derivative, but which sounds especially hideous here without at least the fun bleeps and bloops.
We're gonna be whipping through these kids in just an hour, so brace yourselves.
Judges intro: Ellen is macking on Simon.
Katie Stevens! Kelly Clarkson! "Breakaway"! I already have whiplash! Vocally, it's... not as strong as I would expect from Katie. Flat flat flat. Also...
There is a whole lot of nonsense with Danny Gokey and horrifying group lip-syncs to Black Eyed Peas, and frankly I don't need to waste your time or mine with any of this, so let's just get on with it, shall we?
The guys going home are John Park and Jermaine; the girls going home are Michelle and Haeley.
I swear, every time Ryan says "THIS... is American Idol," he tries to one-up himself.
Crystal Bowersox has some sort of medical situation, so the boys are going first this week. Umm...
We open with the usual banter, and then there's a group sing of "American Boy," which is perfectly bizarre, but the kids do well on their harmonies and synchronized walking. Do they always do group sings this early? I thought that was a Big Stage thing.
We're gonna take care of the girls first: Siobhan is safe. Haeley is safe.
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