Well as it turns out, Sam, aka Trouty Mouth has left McKinley because his dad got a job out of State. I guess he's not homeless anymore! Did everyone just forget about that? Anyways, Mercedee's got a brand new bag in the form of a defensive tackle, Marcus.
Fichel is still together despite "the kiss", but they've got a lot on their "senior year" minds regarding their individual futures: Rachel is dead set on Broadway and inspires Kurt to come along, while Finn is unsure altogether what lies ahead for him.
Lauren has ditched Glee and Puckerman along with it. Same goes for Quinn, whose gone punk and is 'finding herself' by joining The Skanks (a group of non-singing burnout hotties), smoking under the bleachers, dying her hair pink, piercing her nose, and getting an awesomely awesome Ryan Seacrest tramp stamp.
Meanwhile, Sue's political campaign promises to cut all funding for Arts Programs. This lights a fire under Will and Emma's sheets, which is good because they apparently need it! Oh yeah, Will and Emma are living together!
Got all that? Good, because that's all small potatoes to the biggest problem at McKinley: the Glee Club is still the laughing stock of the school and is struggling to find new recruits. I find this hard to believe. I know they didn't win Nationals last year but they did go to New York City. That's New York freakin' City! In my Junior High School, the Choir tripled their enrollment the year they announced they'd be performing at Uncle Willy's, a local buffet restaurant. What can I say? The Choir boys at my school loved to eat! I was not one of them, but if there was the smallest chance I'd get to go to New York, I'd have been first in line to test my vocal adrenaline. Anyways, despite the lure of the Big Apple, New Directions is just as unpopular as ever.
Determined to win Nationals this year, Mr. Schuester plants purple pianos around the school and asks the Gleeks to break out into song to try to entice some new recruits. This leads to a rocking rendition of The Go-Go's "We Got The Beat" in the lunchroom which (naturally) leads to a food fight! Unfortunately the only one who gets inspired is Sugar Mata, some kind of bizarro Rachel Berry: a talentless and deluded star in the making, with Aspergers.
I love the look on Rachel's face, twice (!) during Sugar's audition scene. First the nervous look she has when she's threatened by Sugar's potential talent. Then, when she realizes she can't sing at all, those lips curl up with an "it'd be rude to smile smirk". Priceless! Like a tip of the hat to American Idol's delusional auditions, Sugar Mata was one of the big laughs of the episode.
Will had to turn her down for now, but I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of one, Sugar Mata. At least I hope not, I think she's so much more interesting than Sunshine Corazon!
Luckily, there is one qualified New Direction recruit in the form of Blaine, the transferring Warbler. And he "auditions" with a sassy Bruno Mars influenced version of "It's Not Unusual". No food fight this time, just a fire! Santana takes the blame and gets booted from Glee Club for it.
In other storylines, Rachel and Kurt realize it's easy to be a big fish at McKinley but in the real world where "Anything Goes!" it's very humbling. After their hopes and dreams are shattered and realize that it's a long way to the top if you want to rock n roll, they share a great scene together where they comfort one another in the car. Two former rivals, now supporting one another. Good stuff.
Will meanwhile has taken it on the offense and stands up to Sue with a Glitter shower and lets her know he and the arts are going to go down fighting. Seeing Will like this turns Emma on and proves once again that women prefer Alpha males to artistic types! Ah well, hopefully that should help out their relationship where it needs it: between the sheets.
That brings us to the end of Season 3's opener, concluded with a number from Hairspray with Quinn lurking in the background. Oh and one last thing: Kurt has thrown is fedora into the race for Student Body President.
Not a bad start. I liked the quirky Sugar Mata; intrigued by Quinn; Kurt's run for presidency sounds cool – something tells me Karofsky will resurface; Sue's candidacy seems a little too cartoonish, however.
Hard to bet against "We Got The Beat", but I'm a sucker for some Broadway style formation dancing, so I got to go with "Anything Goes" with The Glee Project's Lindsay Pearce front and centre.
"Her ears should get to park in my handicapped spot." – Artie about Sugar Mata
"I'm starring as Rizzo in an all male version of Grease." – That guy that's named after a Les Miserables character. (Personally, I thought he'd make a better Patty Simcox)
"Your ambition does push ups while you sleep." - Kurt to Rachel