The scene: lunch room. Michael sits on the counter, regaling his staff with the tale of his resignation in too much detail. He's got them all in the palm of his hand and he can't help but milk every second of it. I wonder how far into his two weeks' notice he'll last.
Post-credits, he's got one of those gummy hands. You know, the ones you can slap onto anything and they stick for a second? He's driving people crazy with his even more immature than usual antics. Turns out, Jim says, there's a difference between Michael trying and Michael not trying. They encourage him to go into his office and jobhunt. He's not into the idea, because he has a job. For four more days.
Oh, and Regional Manager Charles Minor is visiting again. He's set up in the conference room, and he hands Michael a client list to verify, which Michael crumples as soon as Charles retreats to his makeshift office.
In the lunch room, Andy gives Michael a farewell present and shakes his hand. Michael's not all that appreciative of a bottle of wine, because he totally already has wine.
A pleasant-looking older gentleman is here for an interview for Michael's old job. Michael just happens to be sitting on the couch at reception, and they have a not-so-encouraging chat about what a nightmare the job market is right now. Charles tells us that he's decided to go with an outside hire, for obvious reasons.
Meanwhile, Pam's got her hands full with the new photocopier, delivered yesterday but not set up yet. Looks like she's stuck doing it herself. Oh, hooray. There is nothing I love more than a good, fun photocopier day. (Feeeeeeeellllllll the sarcasm.)
Michael's got a list of potential paper companies to call about jobs: Prince Paper, and "other companies." Prince Paper, unfortunately, is now out of business. Thanks to YOU, Michael. He calls Jim into his office (by throwing a ball at him), where he tells him that he's starting his own company, Michael Scott Paper, and would he, Jim, like in on it? No, it turns out, he would not. And neither would you. Jim just wants Michael to land a job at a company that exists and can pay him.
Charles walks in and asks Jim what he's doing. Well, he's talking. Well, did he also hand in his two-week notice? Oh, this is just so weird. No one doesn't like Jim. Well, no one except Dwight, but that's different. Dwight's socially challenged, so it stands to reason that he wouldn't appreciate Jim's natural charm.
So Pam's not only got Dwight offering to translate the German section of the copier manual for her, she's also got Michael asking her to build him new letterhead based off Dunder Mifflin's and asking her about pillow talk. It's a big day. She gently tells Michael that he could give up this whole Michael Scott Paper Company and almost no one would know, but he's had this dream since lunch -- LUNCH, people -- and he's not giving up on it. Michael thinks he will just use transparent tape to make his new letterhead and photocopy it.
In case you were wondering, Kelly and Angela are still competing for Charles' attention, and he still doesn't care much for either of them, although he tells us he is aware of the effect he has on women. Kelly's attempting to flirt about vacation days, and Angela seems to think accounting seminars are super sexy. Poor Charles. I would feel bad for him except for how he doesn't like Jim.
Michael pitches his new company to Andy, and I think you should know that when even Andy can't get excited about something, it's a bad idea. Andy deflects to Dwight upon his arrival on the scene, and drifts out of the lunch room. Dwight mumbles something about his farm and the location and it not really working... and Michael might seem to be getting the point.
Pam calls the office to attention with Meredith's help and proudly shows off how well her new photocopier is working... except for how it's not. Oh dang. She interviews that she has sunk four hours of her day into that thing, and she is not going to let it beat her like that wireless router did.
Oscar finds a note from Michael in his lunch, a note that tells him to meet Michael in the parking lot. Oscar gives Michael some solid accounting knowledge about how unrealistic his idea is. Next, Michael tries approaching Stanley at the urinal (shot through the bathroom vent), but Stanley just says "no" a whole lot.
Pam finally gets the photocopier working properly, and she is so proud, until she realizes in an interview that mastering a photocopier is maybe not her main life's goal.
Hank from security shows up to help Charles evict Michael from the office; turns out he found some of Michael's fake letterhead, and he can't let him stay if he's starting a competing company. And so, Michael is on his way out. He starts to make a parting speech, but Charles cuts him off, so he just bows and walks out.
The staff watch him from inside the building as he gets in his car, lowers his convertible top, and drives away. They can't believe it's really happened. But then, just before commercial, we see Michael sneaking back through the bushes.
Toby, in an interview, likens Michael to an in-flight movie in an analogy so perfect I must quote it directly: "Michael's like a movie on a plane. You know, it's not great, but it's something to watch. And then when it's over, you're like, how much time is left on this flight? Now what?"
Oh, but he's not gone. He's snuck into the office and is literally crawling on his stomach over to the filing cabinets in the accounting nook to get something. Angela doesn't want to let him take it, but gives in. Charles almost finds Michael when he comes out to ask Jim a question, but Michael manages to hide, and then he launches into a speech in an attempt to convince everyone to join him in his new company, while making them stare up so as not to bust him. But he is busted when Charles notices Phyllis' chair moving across the floor of its own volition.
He bolts out of the office and gets all up in Michael's face. Michael gets a bit scared and leaves again, but not before Pam, with an "oh no" under her breath, announces that she's going with him. Come to think of it, she did seem sort of inspired during his speech when he posed the question, "Are you being the best that you can be?" Jim says she can't be serious, and races out after her.
Michael and Pam have a staff meeting in the parking lot, where it's decided that Pam will not be a receptionist, nor an executive assistant, but instead a salesman! They shake hands, but Jim's still a no on Michael Scott Paper. He lets her go, telling her he'll bring all her stuff home for her. Pam and Michael walk off together. Her high lasts about 10 more seconds. Aaaaaaand... /episode.
Oh, except for the tag, which contains Charles' mini-meeting with the remaining staff in the conference room, where he tells Kevin to man the phones while they're missing a receptionist, and appoints Stanley his productivity... czar? Is that what he said?
Stanley and Kevin are both stunned. Just plain stunned.
I hate this show so much right now because it is preventing me from being asleep.
I'm loving this "new" Office, with changes actually happening. Things are awkward, but also hilarious.