Filed under: Recaps & Reviews
In our first teaser post-Christmas, we learn that Angela's been calling the cops on all the speeders on the street outside the office, and they've set up a digital speed sensor (that's the technical term I just made up) in the street. Michael's organized an impromptu contest to see who can clock the fastest sprinting speed on it, and lucky for him, a car drives by just as he's attempting to top Dwight's lead. 31 mph! Fastest human alive!
Oh, theme song. I missed you.
Michael interviews that he's been called in to HQ in NYC to talk to David Wallace about "big picture stuff." He has no idea what that means, but he doesn't think it can be good.
Andy enters the office and announces that he needs to clear up the elephant in the room: nobody has responded to he and Angela's wedding invitations, and the RSVP deadline was yesterday. AWKWARD. Michael's like, "You still don't know--?" but Jim cuts him off and basically shoves him into his office to explain to him that NO, Andy does not know, and they can't tell him.
All staff except Andy and Angela meet in the break room; Michael wants to break the news to Andy, but everyone else is opposed. Michael drags it out of Dwight that he and Angela are still having sex, and also that it's been happening in the office. Oscar asks where. Well, Oscar, it would seem on your desk. I hope you've got some Clorox wipes handy.
Back over in the accounting corner, Angela chastises Kevin for completing a form incorrectly, and Kevin turns it into a clumsy but awesome metaphor for the awful thing she's doing to Andy. He and Oscar high five.
Dwight's paranoid, just waiting for Andy to find out and attack him. He tries to switch desks with Jim so he can see Andy in his peripheral vision, citing the better view of Pam as a bonus for Jim. Jim's not having it.
Dwight and Angela meet in the hall, and he confirms with her that she loves him. She says he knows she does.
Back at Dwight's desk, Michael unsubtly confers with him about the topic at hand, and Andy keeps asking what they're talking about. Jim and Dwight head into Michael's office, and behind closed doors, the three discuss how Andy needs to find out and Angela needs to tell him, but Michael wants to tell him, and blah blah blah. Dwight confirms for Michael that Angela is crazy in bed (thanks, Dwight!). Michael puts his coat on to head to New York, and he is so not leaving until he's spilled the beans. He asks Andy to walk him to his car. NO! WHY ISN'T ANYONE STOPPING THIS?
Michael doesn't manage to spit it out until he's in his car, stereo on, windows rolled up, and then he's like, "Dwight and Angela are having an affair, so..." Andy can't hear him. He rolls the window down and tries again. Andy asks if he's serious. He is.
Andy comes back into the office, and shockingly, he is calm. He quietly tells Angela he needs to talk to her in private, and they go into the conference room for the confrontation. Angela tries to deny the affair until finally Andy's like, "Just answer the question: are you sleeping with Dwight?" Angela: "A little bit." He asks when it started up again, and who all knows about it. The fact that the entire office is staring into the conference room provides a little hint. Andy's like, "Come on!" But he's still remarkably calm.
In New York, David Wallace is impressed with how well the Scranton branch is doing in the midst of These Difficult Times, and asks Michael to share with him what he's doing right. Michael's so shocked that he's not in trouble that he can't come up with anything, so he babbles incoherently and at great length about his philosophy, which is something he lives by, and always has, and always will, that you should never do anything, ever, to anyone, for any reason, no matter what or where or who or who you're with or where you're going or where you've been ever for any reason whatsoever... He interviews that sometimes he'll start a sentence without knowing where it's going, just hoping he'll find his way. "Like an improv conversation... an improversation." HA!
Back in the Scranton conference room, Angela tells Andy she loves him and she wants to prove everyone wrong, prove that they can stay together. They exit the room on this note, but Andy is not okay. He sarcastically thanks the staff for lying to his face, and Creed's like, "You're welcome!"
Dwight comes out of the lunch room, and Andy tells him it's over. Dwight thinks he means between Andy and Angela, but Andy means between Dwight and Angela. They bicker for awhile in the typical Dwight/Andy fashion until they finally agree on a duel. They settle on 4:00 in the parking lot, but the weapons with which to duel have not exactly been established.
Pam tells Angela she needs to put a stop to this, and Angela agrees to respect the results of the duel. Meredith calls the loser. Not what Pam had in mind, but ok.
Jim realizes in horror that he's going to have to get more involved here. Post-commercial break, we see him retrieving Dwight's various hidden weapons from around the office, including... a scythe? Meredith tells him there's a "star-shaped thing" taped under the kitchen table.
Michael's in New York, still with nothing other than a story about how he told Kevin he felt the need for tweed. And it's just as interesting as it sounds. David Wallace appears to just give up: "It's hard to try and evaluate yourself, but I appreciate your trying." Michael shakes David's hand and says he's... impressed with the potential they see in him. Awesome. And then sits back down to finish his takeout lunch. David's like, "...By all means."
Back in the Scranton parking lot, it's 4:10 and Andy hasn't shown up. Dwight's getting antsy. He finally spots a note clipped to a tree branch in the shrubbery surrounding the lot. He reads aloud about how Andy believes Dwight would best him in any physical competition, and the rest of the staff watches from the upstairs window as Andy sneaks up on Dwight with his Prius (silent under 5 mph -- thanks, Oscar!) and pulls into the parking space behind him in order to pin him to the bushes. He gets him pinned-ish, and then they start screeching at each other about how the other doesn't deserve Angela and can't take care of her.
Jim comes out to determine Dwight's legs aren't broken (they aren't, but one is falling asleep) and that Andy's ok, but the two just keep yelling outrageous insults at each other until Andy comes out with it that Angela slept with him twice, which is two times more than Dwight thought. They're both chagrined.
Andy slowly walks back into the office, sits down at his desk, and calls to cancel the wedding cake he ordered. Dwight meaningfully throws out his Dwight bobblehead. See, Angela? This is what happens when you get greedy.
Good (at least temporary) resolution to the Creepy Love Triangle Saga. The possibility that BOTH of them would kick her to the curb never even crossed my mind, but it's perfect!
Ok, two things that made me laugh until I cried: When Dwight and Andy were circling each other all Jets vs. Sharks and Jim just walked right between them. And then when Andy and Dwight were yelling at each other and Andy started honking the horn when Dwight was talking. This episode was gold.