The Office: Dream Team

Filed under: Recaps & Reviews

On this Very Special Night, which is now a Very Special Afternoon the Following Day, we are treated to not one, but two new episodes. And for some very unknown reason, Global aired them backwards. This is my reward for getting a week off, apparently. I don't know, but I am not overly appreciative.

So here we are, post-Pam's Great Departure, and Kevin's on reception. He needs sticky notes to remember how to answer the phone, and he hasn't mastered transferring calls yet, so a call for Andy goes to Meredith, then to Stanley, before finally reaching Andy. The whole office celebrates that Kevin finally got it right, and then Andy tearfully interviews that the phone call was news that his maid (?) died.

After the credits, we're with Pam, pulling up to her first day at her new job at the Michael Scott Paper Company Inc., located at Michael's condo. She explains that they already have a leg up on Apple, because they started in a garage.

Michael answers the door in his robe, and inappropriately says, "Oh good, my hooker's here!" then tells Pam she's being inappropriate when she inquires whether he's wearing anything under the robe.

He's all set up at his dining room table, and Pam takes a seat as Michael offers her French toast: "What shape?" She says square is fine.

Back at Dunder Mifflin, Charles has called the staff into the conference room, where he confirms that he'll be running the branch until they find Michael's replacement. Kelly and Angela are still trying to flirt with him. This is certainly different from any other staff meeting in that Charles gives Stanley the stink-eye until he actually puts down his crossword, and when Jim and Dwight start sniping at each other about Dwight's heavy breathing, Charles calls Jim out, all "Eyes front!" Jim can't even get a word in when Charles is like, "No no no, I just want to hear a yes." Jim gulps down his pride and spits out a yes.

Dwight, in an interview: "Oh no, the new boss does not find Jim adorable! Ooohhhhhh. *cheshire cat-like grin*" Hahaha.

Michael is obsessively making French toast, and Pam ends up spilling the egg batter all over him and he freaks out that he has no idea what he's doing. And he has egg in his Crocs. He takes a break to do some ab rolls, and Pam tells him that when she's overwhelmed (Michael: "I'm not overwhelmed!"), she likes to make a list of everything she has to do and then start with the easy stuff. Hey, me too!

She starts adding things like "work out" and "eat an enormous breakfast" to the list and checking them off, but Michael tells her not to patronize him, and also, no he can't get dressed because he has too much to do before he can get dressed! He needs to find a hundred clients! Impossible, says Pam. Think realistically. Assemble a sales team--a dream team!, says Michael. This goes on the list, with Michael suggesting Ryan (Pam vetoes) and Vikram from the telemarketing place. He tells her they also have a meeting this afternoon with a potential investor. Pam thinks this is fantastic.

She finally gets Michael into his room to dress, and as she waits outside, she interviews that ne thing she's learned about relationships is that sometimes when one person freaks out, the other gets calmer, and also that she hates that she just used the word relationship to describe her situation. Michael comes out looking dapper if slightly lacking in confidence.

Andy sucks up to Charles by pretending to be an avid soccer fan. Jim interviews that he's not much of a kiss-ass; rather, he subscribes to the theory that the best way to impress your boss is to do mediocre work half-heartedly.

Michael opens his first piece of official business mail, which advises him that conducting business from his condo is in violation of his lease agreement. Pam distracts him with song parodies. They head out to round up their Dream Team.

The Dunder Mifflinites hang around discussing soccer, and Stanley's way into it, but fore real. Charles asks Jim if he likewise enjoys the sport, but Jim says he's not much of a fan--more of a player, really. Dwight calls his bluff and suggests that he play after work with Charles. Jim interviews that he did play on a team... in Grades 2 to 4... the Orange Team.

Michael has successfully brought Vikram on board and into the car with him and Pam. As they're en route to wherever they're going, he suddenly pulls over at a bowling alley and announces he needs to use the bathroom. Vikram comments to Pam that Michael seems very confident, and then says that "Confidence is the food of the wise man, but the liquor of the fool." Pam says she's looking forward to getting to know Vikram better. My suspicion is that this is not to be.

And who has Michael found inside the bowling alley? Ryan. A blond Ryan. I guess this is his post-Thailand job. Isn't that always the way. In the car, Vikram wonders to Pam whether it's possible that Michael is actually bowling, since he is taking so long. Pam says that yes, it's quite possible.

She heads in to rescue Michael, and is not pleased that he's talking to Ryan about working with them, but Michael says everyone deserves a second second chance. He asks Ryan how much he makes at the bowling alley, he answers, "$60,000 a year." Pam does not believe him. Ryan: "What do you make, secretary?" What a child. Nonetheless, when Michael invites him to come work for the Michael Scott Paper Company, he grabs three pairs of bowling shoes and runs out with them. Vikram, in the car: "Hey, come on, you guys. These are prime selling hours!"

They head to their investor's meeting, which is... at Michael's grandmother's retirement home, with her investment club. Despite his impressive introduction of his crack team, his presentation does not win the club over, and Nana says no to Michael. She is one savvy lady.

At Dunder Mifflin, the soccer game is underway. Jim tells the camera that his strategy is to touch the ball as little as possible and chalk it up to teamwork.

After the failed investment meeting, Vikram wants out. The Dream Team take him back to the telemarketing company, and Michael does NOT want to hear his words of advice.

Back to the soccer game, Charles whips an impressive pass to Jim, who ducks, letting the ball hit Phyllis square in the nose. Dwight is triumphant.

Over at the Michael Scott Paper Company headquarters, Pam's bemoaning what she gave up in her impulsive moment (a real job, sitting ten feet away from her fiancé, and health benefits, for starters). She wishes she had just gotten an ankle tattoo instead. But Michael is the calm one now, and he pep-talks her right into believing in him again.

He gets on the horn to "Billy," and though he's not thrilled with the result of Billy's search for office space, because it would be humiliating, he ends up accepting the offer because he has no other choice and also because he needs to keep Pam believing in something. And where do they end up? In what is essentially a storage room at the Scranton Business Park, the very same building as Dunder Mifflin. Pam thinks she can work with this. This is good.

Stay tuned for last night's second episode recap!

Tags: the office, the office u.s., michael scott, dunder mifflin, recap

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