Filed under: Recaps & Reviews
I swear, every time Ryan says "THIS... is American Idol," he tries to one-up himself. I see that Crystal Bowersox is alive and (questionably) well, and thankfully, she has no desire to whine as Ryan asks her how she's feeling and she claims she's a tough cookie and she's ready to sing.
Ryan also wonders why Kara is sitting so close to Simon these days.
Crystal is up first, presumably so she can go back to the hospital as soon as possible. She tells us that she has a twin brother, and that tonight she's doing a gospel version of "Long As I Can See the Light" by CCR. It is boring, and she keeps her eyes closed the whole time. I do not like her upper register one bit.
Crystal has a touch of the Julia Stiles about her.
Haeley Vaughn is singing Miley Cyrus this week, OH JOY. I BET I KNOW WHICH SONG. But first, the thing we might not know about Haeley is that she likes to make things, particularly headbands and hair accessories. Also she doesn't know how to not smile. Oh good grief, I want to push her over. And then, yep... "The Climb." With a lilypad on her head. I notice more bad notes than good ones, but let's kick it to the pros:
Lacey Brown, whom I still maintain was phenomenal last week, likes to refurbish antiques. That requires way more patience than I possess. Lacey is singing Kara's suggestion from last week, Sixpence None the Richer's "Kiss Me," although she says she was planning to do it all along. And see, if she had done this last week, I would be less inclined to like her. I think this is boring, even if she does have a couple of really cute moments (vocal- and performance-wise).
Katie Stevens doesn't understand irony, but she does understand that she should be embarrassed about the fact that she knows how to say "Give me a kiss" in six languages. She's singing "Put Your Records On" by Corinne Bailey Rae. You know, she has got a serious voice on her, this girl. But she does so much neck-snapping and finger-snapping and smirking when she performs that I have trouble taking her seriously.
Here's Didi Benami, middle-school mascot, with the hippie-girl version of "Lean On Me" by Bill Withers. I assume the judges will hate this because it is such an old song, but the fact of the matter is that her vocal is amazing and therefore she wins.
Didi is sad and Ryan comforts her because that's just what Ryan does.
Michelle Delamor is a children's choir director, and she has bizarrely chosen to perform Creed's "With Arms Wide Open" in tight black pants (possible jeggings), a white bridal minidress, a black leather jacket and fingers-only leather gloves. As you do. Oh goodie, it's the R&B ballad version of Creed -- admittedly not any worse than the original. She does not rock this business out at all and I feel depressed.
Lilly Scott supposedly plays a lot of instruments but she only tells us about five, and all are guitar- or piano-based. Lilly looks awesome tonight in a dress and boots I covet, and she's singing Sam Cooke's "A Change Is Gonna Come" while playing a 12-string. My one criticism is that perhaps her voice is not big enough for this song, although she throws way more passion into it than Michelle just did with Creed, so consider my complaint negated.
Ryan and Lilly have a bizarre conversation about the prompter that I don't even understand. Do... any of you know what they were talking about?
Next up, the most anticipated performer of my night: Katelyn Epperly. Hey! Katelyn was studying to be a recording engineer! That's what I did! Katelyn will be singing "The Scientist" by Coldplay. I think I am glad that they've got the rights to Coldplay this year, but I am DESPERATELY hoping for Katelyn to do well at this, especially since she's going to be playing the piano, which is also my main instrument. Dude. SAMESIES.
They let her play a white grand, which is fun, and overall I am a fan of the performance, although it definitely had certain moments that were better than others, if you know what I mean. It's especially sweet when she hits the chorus, but what she does with the last note is exactly the opposite of what I wanted her to do -- I was hoping for a whispered low note, but she went for the glory note and scooped into it most unappealingly.
Paige Miles is next. She likes to colour, like in colouring books. She is singing "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson, "the original American Idol." I wasn't excited by the idea, but by the first line I'm way into this. Simon, however, is digging for something on the floor by his feet. I... this may be sacrilegious of me, but I think it's better than Kelly's. I'M SORRY KELLY ILU. (Um, ok, except for the glory notes, which are not better than Kelly's.) Oh hey, I forgot that Kara co-wrote this song. Thanks, Randy.
Ok, one more, let's get on with it: Siobhan Magnus, wearing God knows what. Her thing is that she had a mohawk. Tonight? "Think" by Aretha Franklin. HELLO. That's bold. And I mean, it's not terrible and it's certainly big, but Siobhan is no Aretha.
So there you go. Here are my favourites from tonight, best to worst: Lilly, Katelyn, Didi, Siobhan, Paige, Crystal, Lacey, Katie, Michelle, Haeley. I would like to see, well, Michelle and Haeley go. I think it might be Lacey and Paige, though. See you tomorrow for the results!