The folks at Dunder Mifflin are putting on a baby shower for Jan, on Michael's orders of course. Michael's still counting this baby as his own somehow, and has even suggested the name Chevy for if it's a boy. Jan has picked Astrid if it's a girl, which it obviously is going to be. Michael had the Party Planning Committee get custom-made M&Ms printed with these names. The problem here lies in the fact that he misspelled Astrid when he gave Angela the names, so now they have a huge bowl of girl-coloured M&Ms that say "Astird." Perfect.
Before we can get to the shower, however, we learn that Dwight and Michael have been practicing for the birth with Dwight wearing a watermelon tucked into some kind of sling contraption. Dwight gives birth to the damn watermelon all over Michael's desk, and we are "treated" to extended shots of Rainn Wilson's lily-white thighs. I should also tell you that when the watermelon pops out into Michael's arms, we discover that Dwight has covered it in butter. Delicious. (Michael thinks so, because pretty quickly he's actually eating the thing. Gag.)
Jim draws us a family tree/flowchart depicting how Jan is having a baby with an anonymous sperm donor, and Michael is having a watermelon with Dwight, so Michael and this baby are related through... delusion. Beautiful.
Pre-shower, Michael tells Holly that because Jan will be all fat and pregnant and unattractive, while Holly is one of the most attractive people in the office, Michael is going to have be cold to Holly today out of respect to Jan. Also he will be cold to Ryan. Heh.
Jan arrives for the shower... with an already-born baby in tow. Jim's face: "Bwuh? YESSS." We go to commercial on everyone's shock, and when we return, Michael and Jan are in Michael's office and he's obviously upset she didn't call him. He wants to hold the baby (a girl named Astrid – contain your surprise) anyway, and Jan agrees but then makes him leave her in the car seat to hold her. ...Awkward.
On to the shower itself, and as they go in, Holly stops Michael to ask if he's ok, because he seems... He cuts her off to call her a weirdo. Nice.
Kevin says they had shower games planned, but they're ruined by the baby, so they move on to gifts. They all pooled together and got Jan a crappy baby stroller. Too bad she already has a $1,200 stroller! As this is the same amount Dwight spent on his bomb shelter, he figures the stroller should be indestructible. He heads into the elevator with another watermelon strapped in to the stroller. Uh-oh.
At the shower, it's apparently lullabye time or something, so Jan's singing the ever-appropriate "Son of a Preacher Man" to her baby. Despite Melora Hardin's decent singing voice, even Holly thinks this is mondo weird. Things get weirder as they devolve into discussions on Jan's tub birthing experience. Stanley and Oscar announce they're out when the afterbirth talk starts, but Michael forces them to stay. He launches into a rambly speech about how upset he still is to have missed the birth, and everyone starts to filter out of the room. Jan finally offers to let him hold Astrid for real so she can go nap for 20 minutes. He soon passes her off to Phyllis, however, and interviews that he felt shortchanged when he held Astrid.
Michael heads down to the warehouse to get baby-daddy advice from Darryl, and asks him whether he felt an immediate connection to his baby. Darryl confirms that he did, because it was HIS kid, and says that Michael really needs to stop calling Jan's baby his baby. He points to the other guy sitting nearby and asks whether Michael feels a connection to his kid, and whether he would like to hold Darryl instead. sMichael would, but Darryl was only kidding and is not having it.
Meanwhile, Jan, ever the picture of class, is napping on the office couch under the plastic party tablecloth. When she wakes up, Holly's there, and Jan asks her where Astrid is. Holly: "On a sales call?" Jan: Unamused. Holly: "On her coffee break?" Still nothing. She goes for the bare facts and tells Jan her baby's with Angela. Who, with Andy, is posing Astrid with vegetables in a cornucopia and taking pictures. (You may recall her fondness for creepy Anne Geddes-like baby posters.) Jan is somewhat mortified, because apparently you're not supposed to aim camera flashes at newborns. While this makes complete sense, I was previously unaware. Good thing I don't have any newborns!
Jan starts heading out but wonders where her stroller's gotten to. Dwight tells her he took the liberty of putting it in her trunk. Yeah, after he took the liberty of throwing and kicking it around the backlot for awhile and dragging it around behind his car. Jan, however, doesn't know this yet, so she thanks him. Michael walks her out, and down at the car, she thanks him and asks him not to date Holly. (O...kay then?) Michael babbles about how much he hates Holly but then agrees.
After which he promptly heads back upstairs to mope his way back to Holly's cubicle. She asks, amused, whether he's still going to be mean to her (I don't know, Holly, is saying you smell like old tomatoes and dirt really all that mean?). Michael slowly wraps his arms around Holly and holds her for a minute. She smiles over his shoulder and starts to tear up as he lets her go and mumbles through his own choked-back tears, "Wanna go out?" Holly: "Yes." (o/)
Michael interviews that he didn't feel much when he held Astrid, but he got a good feeling from Holly.
So, in other news, we actually get to see Pam (!) in the flesh (!!) this episode. She and Jim have been missing each other's calls and having awkward conversations all day long, where one person can't hear or they're too rushed to talk properly, or what have you. In the outro (do they call it that in television? Heh), they simultaneously leave each other voicemails. They both comment on how they're just sort of off today. But then they recount the exact same story in their virtually parallel voicemails, and it is the cutest, saddest, sweetest thing ever.
Loved this episode. My favourite of the year for sure.
Ok, the birthing thing with Michael and Dwight in the beginning was gross. Ew.
I love how Darryl calls him "Mike".
There were a lot of good Phyllis moments in this episode!
I fully agree with both of you! I'm still hoping for funnier as the season goes along, but this was a good one for sure, not least because of "Preacher Man." Ohhhhh my goodness, I practically rolled off my couch laughing.
I liked last week's better just for the awesome Kelly moments. And Jim timing all of Dwights sneezes and talking breaks