Filed under: Recaps & Reviews
For this, the stupid finale to end a stupid season, each girl will dance with each guy once. No group dances, no same-sex dances, no solos. However... nine dances in an hour. Brace yourselves.
As we are rushing through these nine dances, with nary a second for Cat to catch her breath, there will be no rehearsal footage. I hate when there is no rehearsal footage because it gives me nothing to make fun of.
You know, it is kind of hard to take these this is an intense competition of intensity show openers when the contestants are all so damn perky.
Top 6 Finaaaahhhllleee Performances
With only a few seconds for some stupid sunglasses nonsense with Nigel, we're right into the dancing with a Jason Gilkison samba from Kathryn & Ryan set to "Magalenha" by Sergio Mendes. There is some awkward slithering followed by some awkward shimmying (there is always, always awkward shimmying when this song is involved). Ryan gets to dance both shirtless and shoeless, but Kathryn is neither. Honestly, the whole thing seems awkward and like they can't keep up.
However... the judges think it was a great start to the show.
Ellenore & Jakob have got a Tyce Broadway routine to "I Gotcha" from Fosse. It's lots of fun, for which credit goes to the dancers and not the choreographer.
The judges mostly compliment Tyce, of course, except Adam does point out how selfless Jakob is as a partner (Ellenore gets her share of kudos as well).
Ashleigh & Jakob are up next with a lyrical jazz routine by Sonya Tayeh. The song is "Angel Standing By" by Jewel, which is oddly soft for Sonya. Russell really shines in this number, and while Ashleigh complements him well, I would have loved to see this routine with someone, well, better... like Kathryn. That chipper thing Ashleigh's got going on doesn't work for me in sentimental routines like this.
Nigel agrees with me that the whole thing was pretty much about Russell. Mary compliments Ashleigh enough to make up for it, before launching into tears over Russell. Adam agrees with everyone.
Ellenore & Ryan, jazz with Garry Stewart, yikes. The song is "Kontact Me" by Boys Noize. It's weird and robotic, which suits Ellenore at least, and the routine has less ridiculousness and lifts than that one that Legacy & Ashleigh were saddled with two weeks ago.
Nigel didn't like it but thought they did what was asked of them. Mary loved it because it was different. Adam... agrees with both of them. Ok.
Jakob & Ashleigh are up with a Jean-Marc foxtrot to "Let the Good Times Roll" by Chuck Brown & Eva Cassidy. It's nice but mundane -- not so much their fault, though. They are both very delightful.
Nigel thinks Ashleigh was fantastic and their chemistry is outstanding. Everybody agrees.
Ellenore & Russell's turn, with a Jason Gilkison paso doble to "Village Attack" from the Blood Diamond soundtrack. I... really like the choreography but I don't think they are quite as good or believable as I want them to be, and suddenly I think I want Kathryn to win.
The judges loved it and especially loved Ellenore's passion, although Russell gets a few minor technical critiques.
Kathryn & Jakob are doing a Dwight Rhoden & Desmond Richardson contemporary routine to "At This Moment" by Michael Bublé. It is, in a word, perfect. Everybody, including the judges, is on their feet. Man, I sort of wish we had gotten to see these two dance together more over the course of the season.
The judges wax poetic for awhile and we all love everything.
Ashleigh & Ryan finally get to dance together. Will it be ballroom? HAHAHA of course.
Wait. Nope. They are doing a Travis Wall contemporary routine to "I'm There Too" by Michelle Featherstone. Well, colour me surprised, and also... I feel weird and uncomfortable watching this because they are actually married and so it's not just acting. YaknowhatImean? It's very beautiful, but it makes me feel awkward. Also it's not as good as Kathryn & Jakob just were.
The judges kind of feel the same but they do think that Ashleigh & Ryan have justified their presence in the finale. Adam asks them how it feels, and Ashleigh says, "It's perfect." Everybody is very emotional.
Russell & Kathryn. Hip-hop with Tabitha & Napoleon and "I Can Transform Ya" by Chris Brown featuring some people. Why do they always, always, always put the girls in outfits that make them look SO STUMPY for these routines? It makes me want to punch holes in walls. I can't focus on anything but how short Kathryn looks. And how someone in the audience has purple hair.
The judges love these two best of all.
Well, we just whizzed right through that, didn't we?
Tomorreo... the actual, for-real finaaahhhllleee. And it's going to be long.
Lamest opening sequence ever, I think Russell is going to win, and I still don't feel like I know anything about any of these kids. Remember back in Season 2 when we knew everything about Benji and Travis and felt like they were maybe our best friends from high school? I miss that.
Some song called "Scared of Me" by Fedde le Grand and Mitch Crown, and here's our Top 20 (except... I only count 19) being really freaking awesome in what looks like a Sonya routine. But then they all seem to look like Sonya routines to me, so maybe her style of choreography is really catching on these days. They are a dude short, so I'm guessing Brandon either didn't want to or wasn't invited to come back for the finaaahhhllleee. This routine was amazing, but um, I think Jakob is the most amazingest ever. He just STANDS OUT IN A CROWD.
Aaaaand, Cat tells us it was by Kelley Abbey. New choreographer! They flash to her in the audience and she is pretty and... not 25 though I couldn't say how much older than that. They hide it so well these days.
Six judges are on hand tonight -- the usual three plus Li'l C, Debbie Allen and Tasty Oreo.
Man, I don't know who they've got editing the show this season, but it is cheesy as hell. It's like we're watching So You Think You Can Dance Canada here.
Recap from last night, whiiiiiich you can read about just up there. *points*
The judges pick their favourite routines from the season. C goes with the routine Kevin, Legacy and Russell did in the Top 20 special. Um. Is that allowed? He couldn't pick a competitive routine?
I so think Russell is going to win.
The routine is just as awesome as I remembered, and Legacy and Kevin do this incredible flip thing that I don't even remember from the original routine. Tabitha, sans Napoleon, gives them a standing O.
Adam picks Sonya's routine with Ellenore & Jakob, the awesome one to "Tore My Heart." LOVE. It gives me the shiveries. The judges give this one a standing O.
Nigel picks the tap routine from the Top 20 special. Was the crop of competitive pieces really so weak? Fast-forward!
Mary picks... a routine that has never been on the show before. THIS IS CRAP. So Ashleigh & Ryan will be doing a self-choreographed jive. I'm against this on principle, but I'm still excited to see it. They dance to "Straight To...Number One" by Touch & Go and they're pretty good I guess. (I'm understating the matter for humour, see?) At one point Ryan leapfrogs over Ashleigh. Like when she's standing up straight.
Then Leona Lewis sings "I See You" from Avatar, which movie I am very sick of hearing about. (Currently my Google Entertainment News feed features an article titled "Avatar advance ticket sales skewing male." DO YOU THINK.) The song is boring as hell and is totally going to win an Oscar. Jeez, Horner, pick a different melody JUST ONCE.
Now we are graced by special dance guests The Groovaloos, and Cat has tripped over her words more than once tonight. Too much pre-show celebratory champagne, or just too many words for her to say? Anyway, these guys (and gal) dance real good but I really just want to know who won so I can have a nap.
Back to the judges' picks. Nigel (AGAIN) picks the Kathryn & Jakob routine FROM LAST NIGHT. AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH this godforsaken show is giving me a headache.
Kathryn & Jakob are perfect. NEXT.
Cat is so drunk.
Tyce picks Bollywood because HE HATES ME. Mollee & Nathan dance their routine from early in the season, which I did actually like but... favourite of the season? No.
Ah, live television. Cat's mic stops working so when she calls out the Top 6 for some actual results, nobody -- not us at home nor the people in the studio nor the dancers, apparently -- can hear her. They pan back as she walks to centre stage and the theme "na na na na na NA!" plays and you can hear Nigel yelling "Here they come!" and then some stagehand hands Cat a handheld mic and only Ashleigh, Jakob and Kathryn come trotting out and then Cat wonders what's happening and we cut to worried-looking judges, and now someone's limping and RUSSELL HURT HIMSELF and Ryan helps him come out and it's something with his leg and Russell's apologizing and crying this is AMAZING TELEVISION RIGHT NOW. Cat makes him stay on stage and asks if he's seen the medic already (he has).
So, ok. All that. And now some actual results. The person in sixth place is being announced! And it's Ryan! Aw, and after he helped Russell out to the stage like a hero. Ryan's exit package gets played and then let's get this show working again, shall we?
Up next, the much-touted Adam Lambert, singing "Whattya Want From Me," which I actually like. And, um, in the course of figuring out how to spell that title, I discovered that Adam has songs by a lot of really awesome people on his album and I am thisclose to getting my hands on it. This is not an outcome I saw when I was looking ahead to this evening.
Then we get a retrospective on this season set to that awesome "Sweet Disposition" song from (500) Days of Summer and also a Red Jumpsuit Apparatus song.
And now, we eliminate the fifth-place contestant. Russell has a stool to sit on now. Who's in fifth? It's... Ashleigh. Well, so far this is shaping up exactly how I expected. Agh, sad Fray song, leave me alone!
Adam gets to choose another routine (what of Debbie Allen, child??), and he picks that Travis Wall Mr. & Mrs. Smith routine by Ellenore & Legacy that they keep hollering "Emmy" about, but really it's just super annoying because it's a terrible song. I hope the Emmy voters eschew this one in favour of, I don't know, Travis' routine for Jeanine & Jason last season? That was way awesomer.
Debbie finally gets a say. She picks the Sean Cheesman African jazz routine by Noelle & Russell, except that Russell can't dance tonight so they're showing us a tape from the actual performance. Well, it's only fair since Russell had to dance without his partners for two weeks. This routine is really a lot better than I remembered, and I credit that to Russell. He is pretty much perfect in it.
And now we're eliminating the fourth-place dancer, and it's... Ellenore. Yep, still as I thought. No sad Fray song! She is so awesome, seriously. I just lof her.
C picks another dance; this time, it's the Tyce-choreographed foursome of Ariana, Channing, Jakob & Nathan from the Top 20 special. Nathan still spins very well, but the difference between Jakob and these other three is very pronounced. He is by far the most believable.
Mary's turn again, and it's another routine from last night. She talks about "buc" a lot and Li'l C tries not to roll his eyes. It's also another Russell routine (the Tabitha & Napoleon dance with Kathryn), which means we get a tape.
Mary J. Blige time. This is why I have a fast-forward button. (She is very pretty, I'll give her that.)
Cat's got Nigel out in the audience and makes him pick yet another dance, so he goes with yet another one from the Top 20 special, the opening gangster routine by the Robsons. I guess it wouldn't work without Billy or something, because we get another tape. Edited to add: Or, um, Russell and his bum leg... DUH. Good one, me. Edited yet again, because according to this interview with Russell, the taped version was always supposed to be shown. So I guess I was right the first time.
Just the Top 3 are out on the stage now, Russell on his stool, Kathryn in a hot little red number, and Jakob in all black. The next to be cut is... Kathryn. Ohh! I am a little surprised, but not shocked and appalled or anything.
Cat asks Kathryn for her parting words and she apologizes for how her voice is about to get squeaky, but she does hold it together very well. Lordy, she is pretty.
Intense! A final two featuring two very different dudes: an uber-contemporary contemporary dancer and an uber-krump krump dancer.
Oh boy, J.Lo time. She dances with some boys in tuxes while lip-syncing her new single "Louboutins," and this is the first time I have ever been aware that it is pronounced "LUBE-a-tahns." Educational. Toward the end, she loses the dudes and brings on a kickline of wintery Rockettes, featuring a bunch of the Top 20 girls and some others of her favourites from past seasons (I can pick out Kayla and maybe Jeanine from Season 5, plus Courtney Galliano and I think Katee from Season 4). It seems she is a big fan.
Here come the boys to learn their fates, with Russell walking but leaning (as lightly as he dares) on Jakob. We're getting so close to the wire here that I'm worried my PVR is going to cut off before we see the results.
Video package of their journeys...
The winner of Season 6 is...
Confetti cannon! Russell's freaking out! Tearing off his shirt! Trying not to injure himself further! The krumper won!
It is a good day.
Sooo... I'll see ya in January or February for American Idol. (I am not starting until Ellen shows up.)