Jake: "A few weeks ago I didn't know these women existed and now one of them is going to be my wife."
Ah, and so goes the the sweet expedited tale of reality TV romance.
The first half of this week's much hyped The Women Tell All episode was a series of flashbacks, Bachelor reject orgy reunions, the Bachelor gives back/pats themselves on the back...before we get to the "biggest television scandal of 2010": Rozlyn-gate.
I was originally on team Rozlyn when she was initially booted after I read some things online.
With only three ladies left, it's the much anticipated exotic location/sex date episode. We rejoin Jake and the ladies on the tail-end of their "powerful journey" in the beautiful island of St. Lucia.
Jake wonders how Ali is doing. Luckily, we're about to find out. For one, she's not at work (which is what she left the show for).
Mother's intuition, dead grandma house tours, uncomfortable dance routines and alligators...yup, it's the hometown date episode.
We start by heading off to the east coast to join Gia and her family for the first hometown date. Jake greets Gia with running scoop hug #1.
Everyone's falling. But it's okay.
After their roadtrip, the girls arrive in beautiful San Francisco, "the city of love". Vienna remarks that "as much as [she] love[s] to rough it and be outdoors", she is glad to be back in a hotel.
Jake is breaking hearts, burning roses and taking names.
Chris Harrison informs the 9 remaining women that they'll be leaving the mansion *dramatic pause* forever... on a road trip (woohooo). There will be one individual date, one 2 on 1 date and a group date.
Jake's first one-on-one date is with the much detested Vienna.
The Bachelor has always been synonymous with cheese but the latest episode took it to a whole new level.