Filed under: Recaps & Reviews
Everyone's falling. But it's okay.
After their roadtrip, the girls arrive in beautiful San Francisco, "the city of love". Vienna remarks that "as much as [she] love[s] to rough it and be outdoors", she is glad to be back in a hotel. Am I the only one who's not buying what she's selling?
Chris Harrison is presumably hungover so Jake plays hosts for the time being and informs the girl of this week's itinerary – there will be 3 one-on-one dates and 1 two-on-one date. And first up is Tenley.
I'll be honest – Tenley bored me to tears this week. She is so damn excited about everything. Chinatown, road trips, you name it – she's ecstatic. After exploring Chinatown, the two head to Coit Tower for a romantic dinner. The view is spectacular but Jake is wearing a turtleneck so I can't really take him seriously. Still, he attempts some serious questions including what mistakes Tenley made in her marriage. It's good that she has this failed marriage backstory because her being able to put her legs behind her head only entertains me for so long. She wishes that she had gotten up to greet her husband everyday when he came home from work. That's great but I'm sure he would have still cheated on her and then she would have felt like an even bigger jackass. They convey some very similar, albeit old-fashioned, views on marriage and what a man expects from his wife. They exchange fortune cookies that they had made earlier and they both say the same thing: "kiss me". And so they do. Their date is very vanilla and though they appear to very compatible, I think they may be too alike and eventually, bore each other to tears. But for now, Jake thinks that of all the girls, Tenley is the one he can most seeing being his nuclear wife.
Meanwhile at the house, Corrie reveals the two-on-one date...Ali and Vienna....NOT. It's actually Gia and Vienna. Too bad, Ali fell for it and expressed some major 'tude which did not go unnoticed by Vienna.
Onto the two-on-one... Gia and Vienna head to a real-life castle in Napa for their date.
Vienna exclaims "I'm my dad's princess and now I'm Jake's queen and he's my Prince Charming". That's some confusing royal lineage but okay.
Jake conveys how awkward these two-on-one dates are and this one is no exception. Vienna does take advantage of her time by tattling on Ali's catty behavior which, in her defense, has been a long time coming. Gia seems to be overwhelmed by Vienna's overbearing personality but Jake notices and steals her away for some alone time. Gia expresses her insecurities and they both admit to be falling for each other. Don't get too excited – this is one of many admissions. They make out while Vienna lurks through the castle with a lantern like the hunchback of Notre Dame searching for them.
Later that night, Vienna decides that she's going to visit Jake in his room. She lurks through the castle again, this time was two glasses of merlot instead of a lantern. It's incredibly awkward and Jake does not seem comfortable or welcoming of this intrusion so she leaves.
Next up, the "do or die" date with Corrie. It's death. Agonizingly slow and painful death. Corrie reveals that she wants a guy that will pursue her. I hate to break it to her but I think she might be on the wrong show. They have a stare-down on a canoe because Corrie is a "he goes 90, I go 10" kisser and Jake is a "I go 80, she goes 20" one. Their math, needless to say, doesn't add up. At dinner they discuss their slowly progressing relationship and Corrie admits she's a virgin. In case we forgot, Jake let us know what an a good guy he is:
"It's not about sex appeal, it's about heart appeal". Groan.
Jake rewards with her some "I-respect-the-fact-that-you're-a-virgin-and-am-not-scared-off" kisses but I'm not buying the chemistry between these two.
Finally, San Francisco tourism takes the day off and lets Ali take over the reigns in her hometown. Their date is fun, natural and the two seem to have a genuinely great time together. And, for the first time in weeks, she doesn't seem consumed by Vienna-hate: in fact, she doesn't even bring her up - Jake does. Ali finally realizes that she shouldn't be spending her time concerned with the other girls he picks and expresses as much to Jake. Things seem back full-force with these two and Ali definitely seems to be the front-runner at this point.
At the rose ceremony, Jake sends a crest-fallen Corrie home. It's no real surprise since all the other girls have expressed falling in love with Jake and she has barely expressed liking him.
4 girls left and the hometown dates are next week. Plus something dramatic happens. Seriously.
Watch me and my fellow panelists dicuss the latest episode here:
Seriously. The turtleneck.
I know! So unnecessary.