Filed under: Recaps & Reviews
We're going to Anchorage! Shades of Season One! I am so excited for this episode that cannot have a horrible outcome. It could have two outcomes that are less awesome than one outcome in particular, but no horrible outcomes. Unless no one wins. Hmm.
And, in all seriousness, I am jealous. I want to go to Alaska quite badly. I mean, when you think about it, it's not very far away from me; it's just kind of hard to get to. At any rate, Nic shares my feelings about Alaska, only he is excited at the potential for ice fishing, which I have to say is not the draw for me.
So we're at the Taipei airport wrangling for tickets, where Ron asks for a free upgrade to the lounge – for internet use. Wily. TK & Rachel land themselves on the same flight as Ron & Christina, and TK cracks a joke about not ever getting to be on the same flight as another team. Nic & Gramps will also be on the flight. Ron & Christina are off in the lounge and the other teams are freaking out because they can't see them, but they eventually join the herd. Scintillating television, I'm telling you.
The best thing about this is how everyone's pretending to be all cutthroat but really they are the nicest people pretty much ever. Except for Ron, though he is winning me over bit by bit, the nicer he is to his daughter and the more he realizes how much of an ass he has been.
In Anchorage, the teams get their clues at an outdoor sporting goods store and it sends them to a boat launch with a bag of goodies (rubber gloves and boots and whatnot), only Nic & Gramps forget theirs. Ron & Christina pull the Detour first, and it's a choice between Cut the Cod and Grab the Crab. Cut the Cod involves digging through dead fish, like DIGGING THROUGH, i.e. cutting them open, to find a miniature clue hidden inside one. In Grab the Crab, they have to search through hundreds of live crabs to find one with a little red and yellow band wrapped around its leg. Okay, ew. To both of those.
TK & Rachel's cab driver doesn't know where he's going, oh noes! Ron & Christina have chosen the cod and are digging messily through fish guts. What a waste of meat, seriously. But ooh-la-la, they find their clue lickety-split. The clue sends them on a high-speed boat ride to a glacier that they're going to have to climb to get their next clue, only they don't know about the climbing at this point. But we do, because Phil is nice to us like that. Nic & Gramps and TK & Rachel get to the Detour at about the same time, only Nic & Gramps realize they didn't bring their bag and they're going to have to go back to the store and get it. Gramps is displeased with Nic. TK & Rachel choose the crabs. Ow. Nic & Gramps, in the cab, elect to do the fish. Rachel does not like crabs, and the two of them conclude together they will switch to the fish, only right then TK finds the band around the leg of the crab he's holding. Fortuitous!
Gramps is digging into the cod like nobody's business, but Nic is totally grossed out. Nevertheless, they find the clue pretty quickly, so it definitely seems like TK & Rachel made the bunk choice as far as the Detour goes. Ron & Christina are in their speedboat, voicing over about how close they've grown and how pumped they are. That's nice. TK & Rachel still have the same driver and he still doesn't know where he's going. GET A NEW DRIVER, SERIOUSLY. TK is having a minor breakdown in the backseat of the cab, but they still manage to beat Nic & Gramps to the boats by about a hair.
Ron & Christina reach their destination and are informed by a guide that they have to climb the ice face at the bottom of which they are currently stationed. Ron is feeling... trepidatious? They start climbing, but TK & Rachel arrive before Christina has even gotten over the first lip, about 10 feet up out of the water. She is having a wee spot o' trouble, but Ron has made his way to the top no problem. I must give him at least one or two props for that.
The clue they pull at the top tells them to take a helicopter to their next clue (Roadblock alert!). TK & Rachel and Nic & Gramps are right behind. TK & Rachel hop in their helicopter and share an adorable smooch. Everything they do is adorable, I swear. Sarah Miller and I both hope that they've gotten a different taxi driver by now.
The Roadblock, as correctly predicted by me and everyone else who has ever seen this show, is a rehash of the race so far. It's kind of hard to explain, but the Roadblocking team member has to select ten items from a whole bunch that include one item from each country visited and fulfill a tricky list of requirements. It's incredibly complicated and in addition to being a test of memory, it's a logic puzzle the likes of which I hope never to meet. The clues are things like, "Two objects that you were required to present at a Pit Stop," or "One item of transportation resembling the shape of a stick." Christina is stumped by it, so you know it's got to be tricky. She's what you might call a smart cookie. TK & Rachel arrive and Rachel takes it. Ron & TK rib each other a little as they stand by watching. It's adorable. I'm sorry; did I mention there are live donkeys and cleaning men involved? Yep.
And here are Nic & Gramps. My, this is a close one. Nic is taking the Roadblock, predictably. I haven't been counting, but seriously, have they been applying the "no more than half" rule to the Roadblocks? Some of the teams seem kind of lopsided to me.
Everyone is confused. Everyone is scratching their heads and furrowing their brows and folding their arms and planting their hands on their hips, including me. I am so confused by this task, seriously; I can't imagine actually having to do it. I always think the last task is the hardest, but the show has truly outdone itself with this one. Christina is displeased, even throwing out an f-bomb or two. And then praying. Heh.
Rachel, the dear, dear girl, gets it first. The clue, which magically pops out of a nearby clue box – like, I have no idea who is judging this task or from where, but the clue just popped up somehow – sends them by taxi to a statue of Captain James Cook, where they will find another clue. Another clue? What?? TK & Rachel's cab driver (a different one this time) is mildly lost, but to our great relief, they still reach the clue first, which sends them to "The Salmon Hooker," a little statue of a salmon with bright lipstick on and covered in fish hooks. Uh, random!
This clue tells them to take a take a taxi to Girwood Airport and RUN TO THE FINISH LINE OMG. Ron & Christina appear remarkably calm in their cab, and I think it's fair to say it's come down to them and TK & Rachel, as Nic & Gramps are apparently still stuck at the Roadblock, poor things.
But here... in FIRST, running their cute little hippie hearts out, it's TK & Rachel!!! YAY!!!!! MY FAVOURITES NEVER WIN!!!! They are seriously one of my favourite teams to ever run this race, just because they are so nice to each other, and so calm in the face of all sorts of stressors. They kiss adorably.
Ron & Christina run in, and they seem pleased to have achieved second place, as I would be also. If I were ever magically an American citizen and on this show, my goal would be to cross the finish line. A million dollars is a nice bonus, but just getting the experience of the race itself would be more than enough for me. I like living out of a backpack; what can I say?
And here come Nic & Gramps, in third. I'm suspicious as to whether they made Nic finish the Roadblock – not to steal their glory or anything. Gramps is the oldest person to ever cross the finish line, awww. Nic's goal, like mine, was just to cross the finish line and get to travel the world.
Lovely people, all. And to think I was so cynical at the start of this season and thought the teams were boring and no one stood out. TK says they have proven that nice people can finish first. Indeed.
P.S. I still don't have my laptop cord. Sadface.
Tags: The Amazing Race
Did you use a thesaurus on this entry? Fortuitous!? Seriously? Thanks for the props, I am glad they got a different cab driver.
Did you SEE me using a thesaurus?? Fortuitous is a great word! I use it at every possible opportunity! It is true that I often get strange looks, but really, when has that stopped me before?