Filed under: Recaps & Reviews
Big ups to my good pal Sarah for her stellar recap last week, which allowed me to finish packing pre-move. And now, I'm all moved in and here to recap this episode, which is titled as it is due to Marisa & Brooke offering some marginally cute airline employee some candy in hopes he'll... book their flight faster? I don't know. A good 20 minutes at the beginning of the episode are wasted on nonsensical and boring airport shenanigans, so I'm in a bit of a daze from it.
We stay in Brazil for this whole episode as teams fly from Salvadore to Fortaleza. We're treated to interview discussions of their various respective relationships. The only sensible thing to come of this is the comment made by Mark & Bill that they don't have the same relationship drama that other teams may have, because at the end of all this, they don't have to go home and live together.
Throughout the aforementioned airport shenanigans, Terence continues to be codependent and generally, all-around terrible. He hits his head on the trunk of a taxi and whines about it for like, ever. He cries about the imaginary blood and then makes Sarah clean it, blow on it (that's what she said! ...I don't know), and put a bandage on it. Baby.
The main point of the whole airport schmozz is that Ken & Barbie -- I mean Tina, somehow wrangle seats on a flight all the teams are trying to get onto when the airline switches it to a bigger plane. She of course takes all the credit for the plane switch personally, and tells every successive team just that. They're all rather incredulous.
Meanwhile, Sarah & her giant baby totally hate Ken & Barbie and Nick & Starr because they totally have an alliance that totally doesn't include them and they are being totally rude about not sharing their information and I mean, seriously, how dare they. There's all this awkwardness between the teams while they're in line at the gate, stemming from Tina cutting in line or something, and I think Terence calls her something rude, and Ken objects, as he should, and Terence gets really pouty and indignant but then Ken kisses him on the head and all is well. I guess.
So they finally get to Fortaleza, all on the same flight, and the first clue tells them to take these awesome dune buggy vehicles (which they will thankfully not be driving themselves, because there is no way that wouldn't end in tears) to the other end of a beach to find a shopkeeper who will give them their next clue, which is this leg's Detour. Marisa & Brooke get mooned on the way over.
Detour: Beach It or Docket
Beach It: Teams basically drag, with the help of a small crew, a Brazilian sailing boat across 140 yards of sand into the water. Docket: Teams search for a specific container in a shipyard using a computer and a highly scientific needle-in-a-haystack method.
All teams except for Mark & Bill choose Beach It. Well, that's not true. Marisa & Brooke also choose Docket, but they can't read signs and decide to just follow Nick & Starr, despite the fact that they are going to a different Detour. They're very confused, but they go with it anyway.
Over at Docket, which requires hard hats (sweet), Bill & Mark have to manually search a database for the number of their container. Once they locate it, it's all Star Wars quotes and wandering around an apparently disorganized shipyard for this one container. I worry for the shipping industry if they can't come up with a better system for locating giant boxes.
Terence & Sarah finish Beach It first, followed by Nick & Starr and Kelly & Christy, who are very confused that they have not located a container in a yard. Wrong detour, dears. They are now digging in the sand trying to find this container.
Dallas & Toni finish, then Ken & Tina. Kelly & Christy are still digging. Ken & Tina fight a bit, but are kind of funny about it in their interview. I feel like their bickering is less hateful than some other teams in previous seasons, though by no means do I enjoy it.
Terence & Sarah can't find a cab. Terence is SO PISSED, man. Toni & Dallas stop in their cab and tell them where to catch a cab, and this convinces Terence that they are class acts. Because they pandered to him. Of course. I hate this guy.
Roadblock: In Plain Sight
Teams are at Parque de Vaquejada, where they're to find their next destination – the Pit Stop – written on a 600-foot-long, ad-heavy wall. Phil tells us the key is not to overthink. Team MythBusters (TELL me Bill & Mark don't remind you of Jamie and Adam, seriously. Especially with the hats on). I don't know which guy is taking it. I haven't got these teams sorted yet. The real key to the task seems to be to locate a list of 16 or so place names, write them all down, then read them one by one to the nearby painter who's distributing clues until you hit the right one.
Tina takes the Roadblock for her team, then Toni and Frat Boy 1. MythBuster and Tina get their clues when they hit on Cidade de Criança. They head for the Pit Stop. Nick starts the Roadblock.
Kelly & Christy, in their taxi, tell us in stereo that they have learned to READ. THE. CLUE. Then they get to the Roadblock, and promptly let their taxi go after the clue clearly told them to ask the driver to stay. Congrats, ladies.
Aja takes the Roadblock as Ken & Tina arrive at the Pit Stop in first and win some ATVs. The MythBusters arrive in second. Back to the Roadblock with Sarah and her doomed relationship. Sarah really hates Nick; call me crazy, but I think she may be projecting. Kelly-or-Christy finishes. Shame about their taxi, though. Aja finishes. The Southern Belles get there, but they don't know how they'll read the wall as they don't know Spanish. Good thing it's Portuguese! (Sorry, I'm totally recycling Sarah's joke.) Anthony & Stephanie finally arrive and Anthony takes the Roadblock.
Terence & Sarah, Aja & Ty and Toni & Dallas get their clues and arrive at the Pit Stop in third, fourth and fifth respectively. Terence blabbers some more about class acts and blah blah blah, he is so hateable.
Nick gets the clue after very calmly – and with a smile – asking his sister to please not yell at him anymore because it is not helping him. See, it's a fair request. I don't know why more people can't manage to make it in a civil manner.
Kelly & Christy finally find their taxi, which apparently waited around for them anyway? I don't know. Andrew gets the clue. The Belle is butchering the language as she rattles off some names to the painter, and he totally does not have time for this, so he just starts throwing words out there for her and rolling his eyes a bunch.
Nick & Starr hit the mat in sixth. Anthony gets his clue. Kelly & Christy arrive in seventh. The Rat Boys in eighth. (I totally meant to type Frat Boys in my notes, but somehow typed Rat Boys instead, so that's who they are now.)
The Belles finish in ninth. They want us to know that they are not dumb! Even though they can't float! Or something. Anthony & Stephanie arrive last and are Philiminated. I will forget they were ever on this show in about two days.
Next week: altitude sickness and wrestling! Awesome.
Hehe, Team Mythbusters!! Amazing.
Wanna know something funny? One of my best friends from high school was named Terence and he was my date for graduation! Good thing he goes by Terry, otherwise the Sarah & Terence name similarity thing would be too much for me to bear.