The Amazing Race 13: My Nose Is On Fire

Filed under: Recaps & Reviews

The first task sends teams through New Delhi to an apartment complex, where they'll search for a large courtyard and their next clue. The shot we see definitely indicates that this is the, er, colourful task that had teams so angry in the previews for this episode.

And first up, to provide maximum paint-covered time, is that task. It's a Roadblock, and Nick & Starr of course arrive first.

Roadblock: Holi Festival
There are three ladder stations in this square, and at the top of each, a sort of round clothesline situation clipped full of Amazing Race clues. Most of them say "TRY AGAIN," but there are six that say "THE AMAZING RACE." The Roadblocking team member has to search through to find one of these. Sounds easy, right? Well, not so much when all the locals taking part in the aforementioned festival will be pelting you with powdered dye and water as you run through the square and hunt for your clue. Ouch.

Starr, Dallas, Terence, Dan and Ken manage the task with very little incident, but Kelly & Christy, who arrive third, have much more trouble when they fail to Read The Clue yet again, and don't realize that you can hunt through the clues while at the station, instead of ripping one and bringing it back to your teammate each time, or that there are MARKED CLUES. Kelly, who takes the task, is in total meltdown mode, can't do this unh-uh no way she's totally gonna die y'all, by the time they finally Read The Clue. By this point, everyone's done and gone except Ken & Tina, so the girls dropped themselves from second to fifth in pretty short order.

The next clue sends teams to search for a clue at a charity bird hospital, and here again everyone has very little trouble except for one team, this time Terence & Sarah, who search way too hard, even entering the larger cages and picking up the birds' feed trays and rifling through their seeds. The birds aren't impressed, although to her credit, Sarah feels very bad for disturbing them and apologizes. To the birds, I mean. When is she going to apologize to the viewers for inflicting her insufferable boyfriend on us, I wonder.

At any rate, the clue at the hospital is for the Detour.

Detour: Bleary Eyed or Teary Eyed
Phil tells us this is a choice between two Indian professions. Now, stay with me here; they're complicated.

In Bleary Eyed, teams will "help" the department of power by following a power line (from street level), keeping their eyes out for small numbered tags found sporadically along the line. At the end, they must find a man with a sewing machine in a market and deliver to him the sequence of numbers they found. If they're right, he'll send them to a nearby shop, where they'll plug in a musical Ganesha figurine and get their clue. Um, wow. That is rather convoluted.

Teary Eyed involves finding a specific stall in a spice market, where they'll pick up two 40-pound bags of dried chilies, then deliver them to another market a quarter-mile away, where they'll use a mortar and pestle to grind up what looks like several cups' worth of chili powder. While this is a straightforward task, the chilies are very potent and could burn their eyes/hands/what-have-you.

Everyone chooses Bleary Eyed except Terence & Sarah.

Ken & Tina, meanwhile, have run into their Speed Bump at the bird hospital. It sends them to a temple to serve holy water to the gathered worshippers until everyone's thirst is quenched. Oof. That's tough, because it's not entirely up to them how fast this task goes. Last season's Speed Bumps were similarly arranged, as I recall.

After Nick & Starr figure out what they're looking for, they pass Dallas & Toni and try to mislead them into believing they haven't seen any tags yet, but when both teams spot the same number at the same time, Nick & Starr are forced to pretend it's a big revelation to them as well. They decide to just work together, with each team taking one side of the street.

Ken & Tina make quick work of their Speed Bump at the temple, but I'm not sure they didn't offend every person in attendance in the process. Meanwhile, Terence & Sarah are having a tough time with the chilies, but they power through, though they wonder where all the other teams are, and where that puts them in the standings.

Kelly & Christy try to do the Bleary Eyed task from their pedicab instead of walking like everyone else does, and count some big numbered signs hanging overhead instead of the small tags on the power lines.

Nick & Starr and Dallas & Toni hand in their numbers to the sewing machine guy, who is milking this experience for all its worth. He's all into dragging out the drama and suspense. He is the Ryan Seacrest of Indian tailors. He grins widely and hands them slips of paper that must say the name of the shop they're supposed to go to next, so both teams run across the street to the stationery store, plug in their Ganesha figurines, and collect their clues.

The clue directs them to the Pit Stop: Humayun's Tomb, where more specifically, they have to find Isa Khan's tomb. Stuck in traffic, stuck in traffic, stuck in traffic.

The Rats are making the same mistake as Kelly & Christy, only minus the princessy ride in a pedicab.

Ken & Tina have gone back to the bird hospital and found their Detour clue. They too choose Bleary Eyed.

The Rats try to hand in their numbers, and Ryan Seacrest is just disgusted with their lack of effort and correctness. They try it again, still looking at the wrong numbers. Kelly & Christy are likewise rejected. They both try a second time and are again turned down. The Rats try to suggest they all work together, but the girls aren't having it, because they believe they're fighting for last place.

Over at the Pit Stop, the greeter is busy watering the lawn, and Phil has to call him over as the first-place team approaches. He jogs over to bow and welcome this first-place team--Nick & Starr, again. They win a trip to Kauai. Dallas & Toni are second. And with that, the greeter is back to work. He seriously does not have time to waste on these silly Americans and their Kiwi host.

Ken & Tina start the Bleary Eyed detour option, and spot the small number tags immediately. They continue on, beating both the other remaining teams to a correct answer. Sidebar: I just paused my PVR to type this, and on the left-hand side of my screen is Dan & Andrew, fretting, while on the right-hand side? Ryan Seacrest, draped across his sewing machine, either in frustration or exhaustion. I love this man.

Terence & Sarah finally get their clue, and in the cab Sarah says she would lather herself with cow manure if someone told her it would make the burning go away. Ha!

Kelly & Christy try the wrong numbers again, and Ken & Tina get their clue. Kelly & Christy finally spot the little white tags and get back on the right track. On their way back to their cab, Ken & Tina offer the Rats a little help, which I suppose is ok of them since they know they're ahead of two other teams. Provided they don't do anything really boneheaded on the cab ride over.

Terence & Sarah check in, and they're third.

The Rats get the thumbs up from Ryan Seacrest and snag their clue, followed by Kelly & Christy.

Ken & Tina are fourth and very happy with that. Of note: Tina has spent this entire episode with completely green hair from the paint Roadblock, and she didn't even do the task.

And it's a race for not-last! Everyone's stuck in traffic, stressing out. But here, in fourth, it's... not Kelly & Christy! Yessss. Even though they're probably still going to be dragged around the race as decoys, at least I don't have to watch them on my television as they continue their bid to give all Americans a bad name throughout the rest of the world by trying to scare the locals through their taxi window, insulting friendly pedicab drivers, and disparaging an entire country because it doesn't smell the way they're used to places smelling. Christy interviews about how happy she is not to be stuck at home ironing sheets for her ex-husband. Wow. I wonder if this guy is half as bad as the picture she paints of him.

Next week: A race to the Fast Forward! And Andrew totally wants to break up with Dan.

Tags: tar, amazing race, the amazing race, phil keoghan, the amazing race recap

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Original Comments Posted (1)

sarahm says...

I totally cheered when they got eliminated. What awful women! And I wondered about her ex-husband too, and felt sorry for him because he was married to such a horrible woman.

Nov 10, 2008 11:38am

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